Of course, some choices were made for us, like out hair color, gender or sexual orientation, but for the most cases, we chose what we want to present the world with. Coming out is a personal choice as well and for a gay person it is usually one of the hardest decisions they have to make. Granted, it is a hard move, but what I never understood is why does it have to be black or white, why should I be out or closeted? Why can’t I just BE?
We can accept that our sexual orientation is an important part of who we are, but it is still just a part. Why do some people feel the need to shout it out? Why tell everyone? In the end, who you sleep with should only concern a small number of close persons.
I guess the choice of coming out has a lot to do with the idea of acceptance, but before others, you have to be the first to accept yourself. It takes guts, wisdom and maturity, but it’s one of the best lessons you’ll ever be able to offer yourself.
I’ve had these questions on my mind for a while and recently I was able to find my perfect man (for this post): a Romanian guy who is into guys, who is professionally successful but who is unknown to the local queer scene. I asked him some stuff and this is what came out:
I guess I always knew I like men, it wasn’t a dramatic coming-of-age moment for me. My first experience happened fairly early on, when I was in the 9th grade.
I was never into the gay scene. Ever since I started seeing guys, I got around to noticing what was happening, what kind of people were involved and the opinion I was left with wasn’t a good one. As the years passed, it didn’t get an better; if anything it made a turn for the worst.
Even though I never made any kind of coming-out event, I was always very ok with my sexual choices; I proved to myself and to the people close to me that I had a healthy, mature mindset, I know what I wanted and I was always able to stay focused. The best example is my love life: I’ve had my fair share of relationships, the shortest of which lasted three years.
Regarding my friends, I have to say that most of them are straight and the gay one, which are very few, were not chosen because of their sexual orientation. Sexuality is irrelevant when we’re talking about friendships.
I’m very happy with how my life is turning out and I think it’s very important to make plans, both on a short and long term. That’s one of the things which make me get up in the morning.
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